Thursday, August 23, 2012

6 down, 3 to go

Months, that is.

I imagine these next few will go by in the blink of an eye.

Our trip to South Carolina became a sort of kick off to telling people we were expecting a baby. We announced it to my aunts and uncles that weekend after spending the week calling John's family. Since then life has seemed at times to be a blur and painfully slow at other.

The first trimester was hard. I felt sick everyday. I'm a miserable sick person. I counted days until the end of the trimester, hoping that I wouldn't be sick the entire pregnancy. I would go through cycles in the first months of worry and wonder and anxiety. Then we'd get to the doctor's office and I'd hear the tiny heart beat and everything would be fine. It's amazing that your body just knows what to do and that there is this wonderful, unexplainable blessing of being a co-creator with Heavenly Father and my husband.

It has been really amazing to watch my body grow and change. In the early months when you can't feel the baby, it's sometimes easy to forget what's happening to your body. One morning, after we had told some people we were expecting, I put on one of the new maternaty shirts I'd purchased, and was suprised by little bump in the mirror. I looked at John and asked "Does this shirt make me look pregnant?....oh, wait I am!"

Thankfully, in my second trimester, I did start to feel better. We took a trip to Utah and Wyoming to visit with family in June and a trip to Chicago in July for vacation and a conference I had there. When in Utah, I always make John take me to Temple Square and we spend hours in Deseret Book browsing and reading and choosing only a few books to take home. We did some cemetary/genealogy footwork for a branch of my dad's family that had moved to SLC in the early 1910s. In Chicgo, we ate pizza and toured the town: Mellinum Park, the Art Institute, the Willis Tower, Navy Pier. During the conference (after John left), I got to go up the John Hancock Building and take an architecture boat tour. On both trips, I learned that I needed to redefine what it means to slow down when pregnant. I've been more careful since then about listening to my body and getting rest.

I finished the Book of Mormon in early July again. I had spent the last reading doing an in-depth look for examples of the Lord's mercy. It was a lovely way to read and mark my scriptures. As I considered what I wanted to focus on as I read it again, I realized I was pretty close to 4 months before my due date. I decided to read through the Book of Mormon, cover to cover, before the baby came (assuming he comes on his due date). I have loved this experience. I've been reading and making notes in the margins, paying close attention to the family relationships that are presented in its pages. I realized, before getting very far, that the Book of Mormon is the story of families, mostly fathers and sons, but sometimes includes mothers and brothers, and even a passing mention of sisters. The first book in the Book of Mormon is about Lehi, his wife, and their sons and how they each react to God's outstretched hand and how they treat one another. This continues through the other books in the Book of Mormon. I'm just in the begining of the Book of Mosiah, but am anticipating the father-son experiences of Mosiah and his sons and Alma and his son Alma the Younger later in the book. Their stories are one of my favorite parts of the whole Book of Mormon. I'm also slowly reading the Old Testament cover to cover for the first time. I'm about halfway through Exodus. I'm loving it.

John and I started a birth class and getting things organized for the baby's arrival. We are using the changing table my parents had for me and my sister for the baby's things. It's kind of fun. I've got a good list going of things to be done before November. Not all of them are just for baby, but most of them are.

I've continued to worry about being a mother. Sometimes it fills me with fear and other times with joy. This is something I've wanted as long as I can remember. It's hard work now and I know it will be hard work when he comes. But I have an amazing support system from my husband and family and friends. I'm setting my focus on the day I'm living and the goals that I have, and letting the rest fall where it may.