Hello 30, You Look Fine

This year, my birthday came in a blink of an eye. I bade farwell to my twenties with a small group of friends and family. As much as I loved my twenties, I'm ready for my thirties. I'm excited to see what will come and what I will become.

And now, a list (one of my favorite things!) of 30 things I'm grateful for/happened to me this year

1.  My husband John. Uhm, so he's pretty great.
2. Getting married. I was really excited to marry and be sealed to John; I was excited when we celebrate with friends and family; I was excited as we moved into our new place; I was excited to be with him a lot of the time (in fact going to work was torture for a while); but only a few things can compare to sitting in Relief Society a few Sundays after we were married, singing "Families Can Be Together Forever" and having the reality of that sink deep into my soul.
3. My family. Both my immediate and extended family and my new in-laws. I'm really grateful for the love and warmth I've recognized and felt this year.
4. My sister Jenny. So she also fits into number 3, but she has been so strong and supportive of me. She never tires and she's resilient and funny and adventurous.
5. Visiting with my friend Anne and her family. We went up a few weeks ago to spend some time with them before they moved a few states west. Anne and I have been friends for many years. I love her and her little family. As Anne's oldest, Hannah, and I sat on a bench at Longwood Gardens, I asked Hannah, "Did you know I've known you since you were 3 months old?" Looking at me with her sweet face, her eyes wide, she said, "No, I didn't know that." I told her she has gotten so big (she'll be 6 in the spring) and gave her a big hug as my heart filled up so much I could barely breathe.
6. For Saturday morning walks with Tammy.
7. Regular scripture study and prayer. I have taken a new approach to my studies - I've been trying to study topically and not necessarily according to the topics in the Topical Guide - and this has made a world of difference. I've studied the women mentioned by name in the Book of Mormon; I've studied the words of Jacob, Nephi's brother. I'm studying mercy, right now.
8. For friends. New and Old.
9. For work. Not just my job, but being able to serve and do house work and work out.
10. Having a temple so close by. I must admit, on most days driving to the temple, I don't mind sitting in traffic. It gives me time to not be in a rush, to let go of things that happened that day, to turn my thoughts to the Lord.
11. Modern transportation. We took so many trips this year - South Carolina, Wyoming, California, Wyoming, and Wyoming again. Most were in airplanes which makes family far away seeable more often.
12. Becoming familiar with Wyoming. John's family is there and I really like going there (and I really love flying into SLC!)
13. For the number 13. That number seems to be a tender mercy. And for the other tender mercies the Lord offers me.
14. Going with the modern theme, modern communication - email, im, facebook, skype, blogs. I've been able to keep in some contact with people from my mission and friends now spread out around the world. I've been able to "meet" a sister-in-law and their new girls through the marvels of skype while they were living in Taiwan.
15. Crafts. I've been trying lots of new things - knitting, mod podge, wreaths, digital scrapbooks. I love creating.
16. Writing. I crave this sometimes. even if it's just for me.
17. Reading. Why is there not more time in the day?!
18. For happy suprises. I worry a bit. Too much sometimes. I'm learning to let the Lord guide me and letting myself not feel like I have to be in control of everything.
19. Decorating/Arranging my own place. Ok so John has some imput too, but it's ours, together.
20. South Carolina. It will always feel a little like home.
21. Relief Society. I love this organization and the way it brings sisters in the gospel together. So much good, so much love, so many friends.
22. Participating in events in my friend's and family's lives - graduations, weddings, engagements, new opportunities, etc.
23. Talking on the phone with my mom. So she doesn't live far from me, but we call each other a few times a week just to chat.
24. Discovering I really like database design.
25. I love that, through the atonment, I can change - change behavior, change, my thoughts, change my heart - and be better
26. For a husband that so willingly gives of his time and resources to others.
27. Being a Flake. So there are times where I miss my maiden name, but I'm liking the new name. John has to watch my consumption of things with snowflakes on them.
28. For yoga. This is something I found this year. I do it in my home with my netflix subscription. It feels so nice.
29. Quiet time. Time to recharge and collect my thoughts and be ready for the world.
30. Paper Airplanes and Lemonade...

Gratitude and 27

I’m grateful to all those who prayed for my brother-in-law’s family. His wife and youngest daughter returned to the States a few weeks ago. My brother-in-law and Taylee will be home tomorrow! I’m so grateful to the Lord and for this wonderful miracle.

I’ve been working on several projects lately. I’m finishing up a Blurb book project about the 27 things I did when I was 27. I wasn’t sure what to do with the cover. A while back I found this blog post on how to make printables and have been wanting to try it. I’m really pleased with the way it turned out and I’m excited to do more.

Gratitude List

Things I've been grateful for lately...

journals, sweet friends, little thoughts, cool fall days, service, scriptures, progress, kindness, gentle reminders, patience, answered prayers, reading, working, bike rides

Weaknesses Are Not Tragic

Anxiety has a loud voice and is sometimes painful. He talks to me frequently, drowning out all other thoughts and feelings, making it uncomfortable to live in my own body. I sometimes get to the point that I have anxiety about the anxiety (why won't it go away? why am I experiencing this right now? what is this about?).

Despite this, I am grateful for this weakness. I'm learning to embrace the low times as well as the high times. These are not things to hurry up and get through, but things to learn and grow from. Weaknesses are not tragic because we can change. The atonement of Jesus Christ makes these changes possible. The Savior can lend support and succor as we embrace these challenges because He has already experienced them.

I'm learning to live with anxiety, that anxiety doesn't have to have a reason, and learning what tools quiet the thoughts and feelings (taking my feet out of my shoes and rubbing them on the carpet, humming, running, gratitude).

We the People...

I have to admit I wasn't excited to vote yesterday. It had nothing to do with the candidates or the issues on the ballot; I just didn't want to go. But I knew I had a responsibility to go.

I went right after work, guessing at the roads that I needed to turn on to get to the elementary school hidden in a neighborhood near my home. I parked my car, walked toward the door with a "VOTE HERE" sign, carefully past the people that hand out the example ballots that tell you how to vote if you are a Republican or a Democrat, and presented my ID to the volunteer at the table. We exchanged a few pleasantries and then I was shown to the voting booth.

I cast my votes for U.S. Representative and 4 ballot measures. Now finished, I looked for the person with the "I Voted" sticker. I am a little crazy about wanting that sticker sometimes. I didn't see anyone with the stickers, so I walked sort of slowly so the workers would notice me leaving. They did and I got my sticker.

I put it on as I was walking to my car, knowing few would see it since I was headed home. As I did, I felt the spirit wash over me. I was grateful that I had come to vote and exercise the right I have to. I was grateful to be an American, to remember the founding fathers and all those since who have fought for this country. I was grateful to the women who fought for the right to vote, that I was able to vote because of them. I was grateful to be part of the process and knew it didn't matter if the candidate or issues I voted for won, not because I was apathetic, but because in our system it is the majority vote that prevails, and we all win when that succeeds. I was grateful to realize that I could make a difference.

Gratitude: The Start

It's November (what happened to 2010?). There are lots of things about November that I enjoy: leaves changing, chilly weather, days off from work, and Thanksgiving. We all know that Thanksgiving is a time we celebrate the Pilgrims arriving in America and a time to express gratitude. But instead of saving all my gratitude for November 25th, I'm going to practice expressing gratitude more frequently this month (not that I'm not grateful at other times, I just want to be better). President Monson called gratitude the "noblest of virtues...the parent of all others" in his October conference address.

So I'm going to start with a person I've known for almost 27 years, my sister Jenny. I'm grateful for incredible example of patience, love, kindness, and loyalty. She makes me laugh. She's feisty and stubborn. I love late-night chats in our beds and impromptu sister dates (even if it is just to run errands). She's a great travelling companion. We have seen amazing parts of the world together, even if neither of us remember it (we moved to Belgium when I was 5 and she was almost 3 and came back to the States 4 years later). I could go on, but I don't want to embarrass her too much more. I'm grateful to be able to call her my sister and my friend.

Me

I wish I had as much clarity as I've had in previous times, but patience with one's self, with others, and with God brings a measure of peace and the ability to progress. I know that gratitude is a great healer and the remedy for many, many things. A few of the things I'm grateful for today...

the Lord's timing, the atonement, a thoughtful text message, kindness and love of friends and family, hard work, regular routines, new goals, lists of things to do, libraries, running, rain on the windows, cold air, sunshine, crying, white cake with chocolate icing, colorful scarves, laughing, pondering, quiet time, driving, the temple, reflection, gratitude, prayer, reading, hope, miracles, memories, the promise of many things

Randomness

Sometimes I wish I could understand myself better. That being said, this I do know: I have come to understand that every situation is different and not to expect the same thing twice. Perhaps I'm too nice, perhaps I'm too understanding, but this is who I am and I like being me. I am dedicated and loyal and passionate and willing to give people many, many chances. I am constantly learning how to take confidence in these things. Pain and disapointment are just as important to progession as happiness is.

I am reminded of the hymns "Be Still, My Soul" and "How Firm a Foundation" because they give me peace and strength as I move forward. What specifically comes to mind is "be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake/to guide the future as he has the past/thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake/all now mysterious shall be bright at last" and "In every condition...as thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be." This simply reminds me to look at the blessings in my life, that God has a hand in my life, and that I am promised joy. What more can a girl ask for?

A few of the things I'm grateful for:

random notes/texts from friends, answered prayers, work, crying, laughing, unexpected trips, geting lost, leaves changing color, accomplishing things on my list, alone time, finding things I'm passionate about, steadfast friends